INTERIOR BEDROOM - NIGHT

Strips of moonlight sneak through the edges of the closed window. The rhythmic half breathing-half snoring of the PARTNER in bed, already asleep. 

While the THINKER tosses once more, trying to get comfortable in the midnight abyss. 

The digital clock reads 3:00am.

Toss. Turn. Moonlight. Breathe-snore -- breathe-snore.  
‍

BRAIN
Did you lock the door?

THINKER
Of course I locked the door. Every night you question if I locked the door and every time I check, it’s locked. 

BRAIN
Okay. But are you sure?

‍Sigh. The Thinker throws off their blanket. 

INTERIOR DOWNSTAIRS - NIGHT

Using the flashlight from their phone, the Thinker checks the door. Locked. 

INTERIOR BEDROOM - NIGHT

Easing back in bed so they won’t wake their Partner (as if they would even wake up) the Thinker settles back under the blanket. 

‍

BRAIN
Was it locked?

THINKER
Yes.

BRAIN
Good. 

The Thinker closes their eyes. Snuggles in. Ready to drift off--
‍

BRAIN
Don’t forget, you need to get gas in the morning after dropping off the kids. 

THINKER
I'll get the gas.

BRAIN
Who’s turn is it to pick them up from school?

THINKER
Mine. 

BRAIN
Okay, just make sure you park up the street. And don’t wave out the window again. They don’t--

THINKER
I won’t! Be quiet, I’m trying to sleep. 

Breathe-snore… breathe-snore…

BRAIN
Remember when your aunt was in town and your mom brought her to drop you off from school? They parked right out front where all the kids were smoking and called your name from the window. 

THINKER
I remember. 

BRAIN
And then she waved your jacket out the window and blew kisses and everyone looked--

THINKER
I remember! I’m trying to sleep. 

BRAIN
I can help with that.

THINKER
Oh now you’re gonna help me sleep? What, are we gonna count sheep?

BRAIN
Even better. Let’s relive your entire work day. I know there are some things you’re second-guessing. 

THINKER
No thanks. 

BRAIN
We could re-enact some conversations. For example, when your boss cut you off in the middle of that meeting, you just smiled and nodded, but instead, you should have said...

THINKER
“Excuse me, I was still speaking.”

BRAIN
Exactly. Now let’s relive it seven more times. 

THINKER
No! I’m going to sleep. 

The Partner’s snoring grows louder now. More like a garbage truck snore-SNORE.

BRAIN
You used to sleep so easily. 

THINKER
Because I didn’t have so many things for you to bug me about then. 

BRAIN
What happened to that person?

THINKER
That person grew up. Got married. Had kids. Made a career. 

BRAIN
You used to laugh more. Play more. Remember when you had that book about European castles?

THINKER
Yes…

BRAIN
Remember how you were going to see them all? 

THINKER
I was young. 

BRAIN
It’s not just that you were young. It’s that you were just so…

THINKER
Free. 

Snore-SNORE…

‍

BRAIN
By the way, have you seen the credit card bill?

THINKER
It’s fine, I just haven’t transferred the money yet. 

BRAIN
Still, did you really need that massage? You’re supposed to be saving for a vacation this summer. 

THINKER
We’ll make it work.

BRAIN
And you have nothing for retirement.

THINKER
We have that RRSP. And we’ll have enough for the vacation. I’m selling some things online.

BRAIN
Speaking of your summer vacation, remember to be more mindful about sunscreen this time. You know the rates of skin-- 

THINKER
Please, for the love of Zeus, let me SLEEP!

‍

Silence. No snoring. No echoing cars from the highway. 

The Thinker glances at their partner, still fast asleep. Breathing in and out. Drooling. Beautiful. The Thinker looks at the window -- closed blinds framed by the glow of the quarter moon. And around the room, pictures line the walls and dresser. Children young -- and older now. Loved ones long gone. A stack of books they’ve yet to read. May get to read. Today’s clothes crumpled on the floor. 

It’s a room adorned with traces of a teeming life -- overflowing. In ways both good and bad. And the Thinker smack dab in the middle of it all. SNORE-SNORE...

BRAIN
Still here. 

THINKER
….. I know.

Silence.

BRAIN
So what do we think about global warming?
‍

Sigh.