Rest: to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

I knew what rest was long before I could define it. In middle school, I’d sometimes get home before my mom and collapse onto the couch—feet up, snacks out, TV on, fully decompressing from being "on" with people all day. But as soon as I heard her car coming up the cobblestone driveway—my ears were fine-tuned to that sound—my whole body would spring into action. Open a textbook. Tidy the kitchen. Look busy. I definitely didn’t want to be caught resting.

Like play and curiosity, rest is something that once came naturally to us. Somewhere along the way (sometimes really early on), we lost touch with it. Since we live in a culture that prizes productivity,  many of us internalized the idea that rest is something we had to earn. In many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, we learned that rest is indulgent or lazy. That it was something we only got to enjoy once everything else was done —even though we knew in our bones that “everything else” would never really be done. And these are hard lessons to unlearn; at 48, I still find it hard to sit down and relax when there’s work to be done around me. And I know I’m not alone

Rest is something we need and deserve—just because we’re human. “We don’t have to earn rest,” writes Tricia Hersey. “Rest is not a luxury, a privilege, or a bonus we must wait for once we are burned out.” So when we feel our need for rest — the heavy limbs and eyelids, the foggy mind or short fuse — it’s not a failure to overcome or a weakness to push through. It’s our bodies wisely asking us to slow down so that we can heal and repair, reconnect with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. 

Where did it go? 

Maybe your greatest concern today isn’t whether you deserve rest, but whether you’ll ever get a good night’s sleep again, for goodness’ sake. If you can’t remember the last time you woke up feeling refreshed, you’re in good company. 

Our relationship with rest and sleep takes so many twists and turns in midlife. Hormonal and physiological changes, growing children, aging parents, shifting relationships with work and identity—all of them impact the rest we need and crave. 

Time to get some rest

What does rest look like for you? An afternoon nap? Swaying in a hammock, eyes closed, a book on your chest? Knitting in your favourite chair? Waking up refreshed? Whatever it looks like, know that rest isn’t a reward you have to earn. And restful sleep is still possible—even if it looks different than it used to. In this issue, we explore what rest looks like now—why we need it, what’s been getting in the way and how to find it again.

If sleep is a sore spot these days, I highly recommend starting with our feature interview with behavioural sleep medicine specialist Dr. Jade Wu. She makes the compelling case for why you should ditch the trends and treat sleep as an old friend instead. Turns out tending to your relationship with sleep is much more effective than trying to control it! 

In the issue, we also look at sabbaticals and vacations; forgiveness and friendship; rest as a four-letter word, and a dramatic reading of your brain at 3 a.m. Jen Wieland returns to her childhood home in New England, and Peter Reek digs into how to sleep when one eye’s always on your bank account.

So, wherever this finds you—curled up, worn out, running around, or halfway through cleaning the kitchen for the 3rd time today—I’m really glad you’re here. 

In case you need it, here’s a reminder that you are not a machine, and your well-being matters. So look around the issue, take what you need, and leave the rest. 

And if you can, pause for 5 seconds and just breathe. You don’t have to look busy here.

Warmly,